Mothers Milk- Give it away

Because who ever said , 
don’t cry over spilt milk, 
definitely wasn’t breast-feeding !

Lockdown is Hard

_{it’s isolating , lonely, stressful on all of us. Now imagine you’re a new mum. You may  have had to go to your scans alone and worst case scenario give birth alone. Your baby is in the ICU or a neonatal ward. Your body isn’t ready to produce milk and you / your child so desperately need mothers milk donations. This is a harsh undocumented  reality for some of the newest members of our tribe. Stocks of donor human milk were low before , now its critical.  This lockdown is impacting our most vulnerable we are told,  at the other end of the spectrum. But with the lack of information, it is also hitting the beginning  of life too. We need to stop this, as only we can.}  

Because who ever said , don’t cry over spilt milk, definitely wasn’t breast-feeding ! As any breastfeeding momma will testify every drop we make is golden, we don’t waste it. The colostrum that you know is,  giving your baby every thing they need to start off in the world is magic,  pure magic.  Our milk is precious, very precious in those first few months. Thats why I decide to give mine away and so should you.   The reason Im so passionate about this was I tried and failed to use donor milk when I had my baby and I voweled to be part of the solution that no other mother in need would be denied.  My baby was early , she was whipped out at 38 weeks by urgent c section. You know the ones where your body was planning on cooking them some more but science had other ideas. I knew my breasts won’t get the memo until later so I wanted to rely on donor milk. I wanted to breastfeed, I knew that it was the best option and my chosen option. I have nothing against those who choose another route but this was my and my baby’s path.  But I hit a brick wall at hospital and told it was in short supply. I was only able to procure  two feeds worth as limited stores were kept in reserve for the preemies and the Neo natal ward. So I had to pump furiously and topped up with formula till my system got with the program. But I also decided  there and then , as I had received therefore I need to give. It was only when I got home I  had the thought , this isn’t right. Not about that the more deserving get the milk,  but why isn’t there enough for everyone.

By then my breasts had turned in to beach balls and I was a human milk sprinkler system. I had plenty to spare and I know others mothers I did antenatal classes did too. There was no need for a shortage.  I wanted to know why is there a storage and how can we change that?  

Realisations of a New Mother …

Firstly what  dawned on me, is  what I had witnessed in the hospital. Every 40 mins or so a trolley of formula was wheeled out and several different brands in tiny bottles that you attached a teat  were offered to all the new mums in the ward indifferent to whether we were breastfeeding or not. And I was enraged. There is a shortage because we are encouraged not to breast feed at all,  let alone make more for others. Our bodies are amazing, truly amazing, they can regulate the milk to suit our babies needs and needed amounts. There is a symbiotic  relationship between the saliva on your child tongue and parts of our nipples that concocts  a perfect mixture of antibodies,  fats and vitamins for the next feed.  

Then I found out 80% of mothers intend to breast feed, this falls away to 50% once we leave either hospital or birthing centre and falls below 30% once home and pressures of home life invade and giving a bottle is easier. ( I am not counting the woman who wanted to but just couldn’t breastfeed ) Breast feeding is hard for some. Painful at times.  Fraught with false starts. Guilt, worry, expectations, pressure. Wanting to let Dad participate in the feeds. If it is any of the above a lot of woman just stop.

80% intend to breastfeed, this falls to 50% and then again to 30%

Education and focus is being diverted from what nature has made best for us. How many of you were helped to feed in hospital? I had one kind midwife that spent hours with me helping me get it right and all the rest just offered to bottle feed my baby ! How many of you were made aware of a The Human Milk Bank in your area. Were you given information on how to donate. I was given no information on it in hospital or at a breast feeding talk I attended. Only due to my background did I even know I could even ask while in the maternity ward for donor milk. And I had to find myself  the  information to give back as such when I left. Unfortunately human milk donation is an after thought. 

Lastly and most importantly I feel ,  society activity stripping away our basic right with judgements and unwarranted comments. Breasts are used to sell just about everything in advertising yet whip one out for its primary function and we are told to cover up or move away. Breastfeeding for some reason has become embarrassing , shameful. I was accused of being a hippie, boob warrior and old fashioned. Given dirty looks or dirty back rooms where I would be  more comfortable ! 

Education, education, education

We need to change this, reach out, speak out, encourage and educate others.   No wonder Mothers are shying way from feeding their own child and being pushed away from helping to provide a much needed service for other wee ones in need. 

New mums and new to donating, can get so overwhelmed and lost in all the paper work and process and pressure of the whole thing. You need to make up your mind and start storing your milk asap as donations have to be before 4 months. You need to get a medical sign off from your doctor Get hold of a kit with labels, bottles and special tamper proof lids. For new mums this can be daunting, tricky, complicated and stressful. You are just coming to grips with a new human in your house and all their idiosyncrasies. Your body is doing things you never imaged it could and your emotional state ….. Think roller coaster. Plus pumping milk on top of all that .. I get it. 

Now add in a pandemic , where there is no  family and friends on hand for moral support, no face to face with breastfeeding support groups, health visitors and midwives. Hospital visits are restricted to just Mum with baby, mandatory face shields and a quick in and out. Breast-feeding coordinators are not on hand in the comfort of your own home, to physically show the best way to get the best from your body so you can supply your baby with milk and then produce more. Breastfeeding is hard work for some and with the added lack of encouragement, the isolation and loneliness that motherhood can thrust upon you . Its easy to understand why it can be ‘too hard’ and human milk donations are at an all time low.

Persevere !

 But if I can pursued you to persevere , there are many ways  to help make the process as painless physically and mentally as possible. Your local milk bank will talk you through and post you everything you need including a direct number to have your donations collected from a place close to you. There are online forums and groups of like minded ladies ranging from new Mums to Mums with new babies, breastfeeding coordinators and retired midwives all with a wealth of experience and knowledge. Excellent electric pumps of many brands on the market to do the work for you.  And my favourite,  the silicone hand pump. Just pop it under your non feeding breast while you are nourishing your wee one and it catches any drips. Very handy to have two when you’re leaking in-between feeds. Practically does the work for you. 

Once you have filled your bottles, which happens surprisingly quickly once you get the hang of it ! The Milk banks have associations and networks of volunteers across your country that will collect the frozen milk from a location convenient to you and deliver it to your milk bank. Taking the fuss and hassle out of it. These bikers also deliver the milk from the banks to hospitals, neonatal clinics , ICU’s  and the mothers in need all around the country. You get to be safe and snug/smug in the knowledge that you did your bit.

Best of all is it is all worth it. A few months ago I received a letter saying my milk had been used, and given a wee token of appreciation. A small gold pin, a symbol of a milk donor, I wear it with pride. And explain to any one that asks or even if they don’t …. what it means. For me it was symbolic of my pledge I made in the hospital , now it’s a badge of honour as seeing the brooch,  I had a mum stop me to  say that her daughter needed donor milk, she  was born early , really early , ICU stay for weeks early. And if it had not been for donation milk her daughter would not have been alive today. What more of a reason does any one of us need. 

Best of all is it is all worth it

Please reach out and contact your local milk bank is you are in a position to help. Donate, and give our smallest members the best start , during or after a rough start in life. There is nothing better for our wee ones than mothers milk, any mothers milk.